Behind the festive image, many now see it as a financial and social constraint rather than a shared pleasure.
Long seen as a joyful moment before the wedding, this tradition is starting to get boring. Susan, a travel agent for thirty-five years, has seen dozens pass by. She was even invited twelve times in the same year. “That year, our friends’ weddings cost us so much that we felt like we were only working for that.”she says. Over time, she has seen this custom lengthen, become more complex, and become more professional.
It is no longer an improvised tradition, but an event in its own right. A survey by the site The Knot shows how the bill has exploded: 1,100 euros on average per participant. And again, without counting the travel. A level of demand that weighs on the guests. And for good reason, an Empower study reveals that 48% of Americans hope not to be invited, solely because of the cost.
Cassandra, a marketing specialist, remembers paying for everything: flight, accommodation, meals, activities. This famous tradition is none other than the bachelor and bachelorette party. “Even though I could have refused, I was happy to have had this experience,” she said. But others don’t have the same tolerance. Aimée, a journalist in New York, dared to tell a friend that she was afraid of the cost and the lack of time. The discussion went badly. “I can’t believe she brings it all down to money,” the bride-to-be would have commented. Others have decided to set limits. Angela, a student, preferred to organize a much less expensive party. “A true friend wouldn’t want you to go into debt for her,” she believes. Same observation for Alyson, mental health counselor, who refused a 2,500 euro celebration in Cancún.
Michelle Durpetti, wedding planner, confirms this: younger generations want “unique” moments, immersive trips, collective celebrations. But this frenzy ends up distorting the meaning of tradition. What was supposed to be a romantic moment before the wedding turned into a mini-festival costing several thousand euros. Once a symbol of freedom, it has become a marathon of spending and comparisons. Today, one in two guests would prefer not to be invited.
